The one where I have answers.

I'm going with a Friends theme now, for my titles!

This is a long one, so get your blanket out and get comfy.

Okay, so I know I haven’t been on here as much as I should, but in my defense, I’ve totally had stuff going on! The Fast One started kindergarten, and I know, you’re saying, so what. But for a while now I’ve suspected there is something going on with The Fast One. This is a child who is super smart. He has been building symmetrical block structures, by shape and color, since he was two, although, if he was missing a block he would have a complete meltdown. He was also doing 100 piece puzzles when he was 3 and 4. With a child like this I should totally be excited for him to start kindergarten to show everyone how smart he is, but I was dreading it. I was dreading him not being able to hold it all together through this big transition. I was hoping that his intelligence would over shadow his other issues.

It didn’t.

The Fast One is this kid who is loved by all adults, they think he’s great, but with kids, it’s a whole different story. He’s really struggling participating with the other kids. He wants to be friends, he’s just not sure how to do it. He’s having a real hard time getting back to himself after something doesn’t go his way. He is having a hard time transitioning.

The Fast One spent two years in preschool before he moved on to Kindergarten. I thought the days of the other kids just don’t “get him” would be over. I thought the other kids would catch up to him. But they haven’t. He’s still living in his fantasyland most of the time, and no one wants to join him. Academically he’s fine, if not above average in everything he does.

I made the decision a long time ago he would need my help in school. He would need me to be there to advocate for him. I knew he’d need help, I was just hoping it wouldn’t be as bad as it is. And after tonight, and this: (don’t mind the underwear clad kid running around in the background)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQeBkZ1on08

I’m afraid I may need help for at home too. I just don’t know what to do about it anymore. This was his reaction to his haircut tonight, I hadn’t even cut half his hair. You can just see him cringing. He’s always had this reaction, and this one was nothing. I’m always afraid the neighbor is going to call 911 on us when he’s screaming while getting his hair cut. I finally feel like I may be understanding what he’s feeling after reading this:

http://visualvox.wordpress.com/2008/06/30/crossing-the-hurdles-of-haircuts-the-explanation/

I really try to stay calm, but after 45 minutes and his hair still isn’t cut, it’s hard. I really do feel bad for him. It’s obviously very hard for him too. He is probably 10 times better than he used to be. He used to get welts all over his neck. Now he’s figuring it out, and asks to have a towel over his face so he doesn’t get hair in his mouth, but he still can’t deal with it. I get it. It’s just too much for him. But what’s my other option? Only girls have long hair - as he says.

I mean, I could go on for days about all the things he needs help with. His throwing up over smells he doesn’t like, his freaking out when the bell rings, his constant repetitive motions, his issues with personal space. But I won’t.

I’ve been convinced for a while now that he has Asperger’s Syndrome. It’s technically a form of autism, but on a very high functioning scale. I finally feel like someone is hearing me when I’m saying it. I finally have people supporting the idea that is what is going on with him. I never thought I’d be this happy to know there is something “wrong” with my child, but I am. I’m happy to know I’m on the right track. I’m happy to know that he will get what he needs to live a successful life because I know what to fight for now. I finally feel like I have support from friends and teachers that know what’s going on. I finally feel not so alone! I can only imagine how The Fast One feels.

On another note, The Hungry One is doing well in preschool, of course. She’s good at everything she does, of course. I worry constantly that she will be left behind, that she will not get as much attention as she deserves, that she will feel left out. It’s just so easy to say she’ll be fine, because she is so great at everything. She’s so easy! If you watch Parenthood, I will never forget the episode where Hattie is crying and upset because as she says, everything is about Max. That hit really close to home. I see that as my future. I don’t want The Hungry One to tell me that we always do what The Fast One wants to do, but we kind of do. I really need to work on that.

On one more note, Bryan got diagnosed with a hernia in his stomach yesterday. I’m guessing surgery is in our future. Don’t these things know it’s Christmas? I totally have nothing better to do!

"I'm not a problem"

A few of my favorite quotes from lately, okay only one, from today:

Me - What do you want to eat?
The fast one - I'm not a problem, mom!
Me - What do you mean?
The fast one - I mean, you get what you want and I'll get something.

So after a few minutes I figured out he meant he's easy! I love that he knows by saying that he's being nice and letting me pick, that maybe, just maybe, the world doesn't revolve around him all the time!

Today, at Disney, we were accident prone. The hungry one has been especially accident prone lately.

Today she fell on Donald's boat and hit her head on the wood planks and cried hard - to put this in perspective she shut her finger in a car door last week and barely cried. I'm guessing it hurt!

Not even 15 minutes later she then hit her head on one of the climbing structures in Goofy's house.

Then, in the afternoon, the fast one was eating a churro and walked straight into a garbage can, hard. I was laughing in his face, and now thinking back on it, maybe that wasn't really a very motherly thing to do, but it was HILARIOUS. The guy on the bench he was sitting on while crying for 10 minutes said, "Did he just walk into the can?" then he laughed for a few minutes. He may have a black eye tomorrow, so if anyone who sees him reads this, it wasn't me!!!!

Dana's House of Guilt

You know who you are! And I'm only doing this cause you're pregnant!

So I just realized my life is extra boring to not have anything to post about in a LONG time!

Bryan and I went away for Valentines weekend to a casino the best value we got was the hour and a half we waited in line for the buffet! They had mini creme brulees to die for! I swore I would come back for lunch and just eat those! I did.

While we were there at 9:30 at night, it was PACKED, we came across a few characters. First some guy was totally trying to cut in line in front of us, and after waiting over an hour, no way were we or anyone else in front of us going for that! Someone told on him, but not before the frustration built up with everyone and I was a little scared for a minute that there was going to be a mob of crazy people beating this guy up - and one of them might have been me! Now I know all about mob mentality! He was then escorted back to his spot in line. We wished he would have been escorted out, but oh well.

I could people watch at a buffet all day. From the girl with the disco ball shoes on to the various people eating while in line getting their food, like it wasn't all you can eat!

The best guy was the guy who loaded his plate up with this: and I'm dead serious, a full plate of chow mein, some Chinese food on top of that, then a few egg rolls, which he was eating in the line while waiting for his turn to get more food. He put some corn on the side of all that. Then he got to the Prime Rib table and had a piece cut to put on top. And I thought, wow, that's a full plate, he must be hungry. And then, I kid you not, he spooned some creamed spinach on top. That almost made me throw up. He took his plate back to his table and there was a beer waiting for him. He then went up to the buffet again and got a few bread sticks in his hand, not on a plate, and was biting the tops off of them while walking back to his table, 20 feet, maybe. I could have watched him all night.

I felt like we were in the Jersey Shore, Ed Hardy all over the place.

It was nice to be away for two days with no kids, thanks grandma!

The Greatest of them all!

This morning Bryan grabbed some baby carrots to take to school:

The fast one says "Carrots are for reindeers."

Bryan says - "No, they are for you."

The fast one says - "Well, I'm not a reindeer."

Bryan says - "Yeah, you're a little reindeer."

The fast one, while walking out the door at 7 a.m. with his hands raised high in the air yells - "No, I'm the greatest person of them all!"

No smoking

The fast one - "Buckle your seatbelts. No smoking, no drinking, no talking, no moving, no putting your arms out"
Me - "What are you talking about?"
The fast one - "No singing, no standing up"
I guess I broke that no talking rule.
The fast one - "Time to go."
he then proceeded to fly the Dora minivan around the living room.

I still can't get an answer. I must have really broken the rules!

iPod whiz kid!

Yes, that is the hungry one - 3.5 years old - in iTunes on my iPod. I already had to change my password once because she tried purchasing so much stuff with the wrong password. Oh yeah, and she's wearing her new bathing suit only pulled up halfway, it was just too much work for her to get it all the way up, but she did HAVE to try it on.

I bought it at Costco today, since we were so excited by the great deals I forgot I had let the hungry one hold onto my Costco card while shopping, bad idea. At check out I realized she didn't have it. I had to get a new card. On the way out she was convinced she was getting a hot dog and I had no cash, but guess what? They take checks, so I had to write a check for $3.49. Much better to write a check than to deal with the meltdown of no hot dog!

While I was typing this I got a text message from a friend that I have a scrabble like game going on with on our iPods asking me why I quit the game! I told her I didn't, oh crap, HUNGRY ONE! I WAS WINNING!

Yogurt and fruit roll ups for dinner! Yum.

At least it was real yogurt and not Gogurt or something!

Big Announcement - I think the hungry one is finally out of diapers, even for bedtime! Too bad I still have a box full of pull ups. Maybe I'll put her in one every once in a while to remember what it's like to have kids in diapers to remind me that I don't want (need) another one!

The kids were gung ho about soccer today, even fighting over who was going to get more goals, before we left but then the fast one's frequent daytime urination flared up just in time to get dressed. YES, I'm serious! He couldn't get dressed because every five seconds, YES, I'm serious, he had to pee. EVERY.FIVE.SECONDS! After only a little bit of me flipping out and having a hissy fit over the whole thing I finally got him dressed. P.S. not the best strategy. I've now convinced him to hold it, but he thinks that means to actually hold "it." Now I'm walking around with one of those kids that is grabbing their crotch like I won't allow him to go to the bathroom. Cause he really has to go! I told him to shake it all out, that didn't work! I told him to go one more big time, that didn't work! So he spent the whole game grabbing his crotch and laying on the ground!

Did a bit of research - the best way to combat the stress on the child with frequent daytime urination is to act like it doesn't bother you? WHAT? How am I supposed to be places, I can't show up late because "The fast one had to pee a million times." We'll see how that works out.

Then, the hungry one, who loves soccer and loves participating in anything came out because she was "tired." Then she started crying. They were both fine when snacks came around though.

We then decided to drive around a few neighborhoods looking for a house to rent in a better school district, The fast one does start kindergarten next year. I will obviously get over involved in the school and I want to make sure I'm in a good district. LA Unified, though the second largest school district in the country, is probably not our best option!

Not much luck. But the kids did take a nice nap while we drove around, so no "I GOTTAAAAA POTTTTTTTTTTTTTTY!" and no crying! It was a nice break!

Bryan just asked me, are we having dinner? I said, "duh, they just ate yogurt and fruit roll ups, they don't need dinner!" :)